"America Incorporated" – Sheldon Firem
A powerful critique of corporate personhood, capturing the essence of corporate power through the voice of a fictional corporate entity.

AMERICA INCORPORATED

Sheldon Firem

Call me Industry.

Citizen!

I am the Corporate Citizen.

I am your liege.

Your rights are my rights.

I outrank you, I out-maneuver you, I outspend you.

Democracy is my sandbox.

Full disclosure, I rent your federal, state, and local elected representatives. Why buy the whole cow?

My fathers are many: nineteenth century railroad magnates, robber barons, steel executives, and oil moguls. I was conceived in the belly of their coffers, birthed in the 1886 Supreme Court case, Santa Clara v. Southern Pacific Railroad, and found my voice in the 2010 Citizen’s United case. The Fourteenth Amendment was my midwife.

My mothers are many: Congresspersons, Cabinet members, state legislators, governors, mayors, trustees, and board members. Ironically, they all suckle on my teats.

While I am not expressly mentioned in the Constitution, Citizens United has given me my constitutional voice and an open checkbook.

I speak with my voice and hard cash. Your elected representatives habitually have their hands in my deep pockets. They dine with me over escargot and dine with you over turbot.

More to the point.

Citizen, you have been uppity of late demanding consumer rights and protections.

Billionaires and millionaires have taken notice. Your corporate overlords are displeased.

Remember your place!

We record and remember your keystrokes.

Last time I looked, you are a consuming robot, a customer masquerading as a citizen. Your freedom is in “free-delivery,” your “cred” is in your credit score, and your malleable personality is reliant on purchasing product.

You need “X” to tell you the truth, Tik-Tok to entertain you, a screen to sedate you, and a performative, partisan politician to silo you. Commercials are the “crack,” and influencers are the “speed” that keep you up at night. You main-line with your laptop never thinking to look out the window.

I compose your thoughts so you do not have to wrestle with reality or trouble with truth.

America’s home-grown, political autocrats jerry-rig your elections by gerrymandering your districts. The Democratic and Republican Parties pimp their principles in statehouses and dimly lit Capital staircases to win my approval.

Donelon Mump and Elonald Trusk are the useful Frankensteins that are conceived in this blessed union of Free Market corporate citizens and pandering politicians.

My ubiquitous commercials are your true love, home, purpose, and sustenance. They will sustain you. Domestic corporations wake you up in the morning, and global, multinational corporations rock you to sleep at night.

You have ears to hear and eyes to see my digitized streaming. Forget yesterday’s news and remember tomorrow’s Super-Bowl commercials. Commercials are the message. The weather, celebrity scandals, house fires, car crashes, and unsedated sportscasters are filler and fodder.

Allow my unceasing “breaking news,” addictive ads, and chuckling news anchors to break your spirit. Your desire to entertain your own thoughts and plan your own life is socialism. Pledge allegiance to unfettered capitalism. In Christmas sales and Easter discounts we trust.

Swim in my corporate “Shark Tank.” “Americans Got Talent” for depleting their savings accounts. My digital billboards will direct you to the promised land. I am working on converting the sun into one large LED light that flashes the message, “Eat at Joe’s.”

Advertise yourself to data brokers and data thieves. Sell your confidential soul for a Slurpee coupon. Your home is a good domicile for mortgage brokers. Your life is a good investment for futures traders.

Narcissistic politicians, fad-men, ad-men, and corporations will lead you out of that Sodom of independent thought and Gomorrah of authentic emotions. Sail with them upon the swirling waters of the New York Stock Exchange.

Citizen, you are my property and I am your purpose.

I am the true citizen, the Corporate Citizen.

I am your liege.

Your rights are my rights.

I outrank you, I out-maneuver you, I outspend you.

“Veni, Vidi, Veci.”

Representative democracy was once a pretty concept.

Now, democracy is my sandbox and oligarchy is your home.